To my love,
Thank you for your perspective. For your kindness, and your patience. Thank you for loving life - for dancing, for inspiration. Thank you for teaching me that it's perfectly alright to be happy with a situation that is less than ideal. Thank you for forgiveness - for giving and receiving it. And every day, thank you for your laughter, your smile, your eyes.
Thank you.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Recommitment, forgiveness, and a little attitude adjustment
I am feeling extraordinarily dissatisfied at the moment. A fleeting feeling, I know. Still...for something as transient and insubstantial as an *emotion* - this one sure has me pretty grumpy. What I'd like to do is write down a list of the things that I want, the things I'm lacking, the reasons why I'm justified to be in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mood. So, I'm going to do that - IF I still want to after writing down a list of all the wonderful things...all the reasons that I love living in Denver, and all the things there are to be happy about, all the ways in which I'm beautifully blessed.
It's fall, and starting to get chilly! Teaching at the Denver Center started again today and I love my kids! I treated myself to a grande nonfat iced latte this morning. We have a washer and dryer in our house so I don't have to take hours out of an otherwise wonderful afternoon to go do laundry, I'm doing it RIGHT NOW! Tacos for lunch. Taco flavored kisses. Watching videos of K.K. Yesterday, Aly came to Denver and we had an awesome breakfast, and we got our makeup done at MAC and it was wonderful. I feel pretty. Chalkboards. Going to the mountains. Being surrounded by artists. Big sky country. More *blue* days than anywhere else in the country. Listening to a gorgeous Mexican singer on NPR this morning. Remembering Ireland. Knee high socks. Photographs. Not being at work for the afternoon. Loving my job(s). One door opening just as another one closes.
It's just over one year since I moved to Denver...the time when...for the past several years, I've picked up and moved again. I'm noticing a pattern...the first year(ish) is great, everything is so new - it's like a challenge to get to know a place, and people. But then, after that first year, when it's so exciting...I start to sit back and say "now what? shouldn't I be farther along that this?" So I move on to someplace else. The only thing is, I really love Denver, and Colorado. And I've found a good art scene here, and love is here, and I want to be here. So, I'm here, I'm committed (I just bought Colorado plates last week!), and I'm just going to embrace my neurosis and live it up!
This is me world, I may be grumpy and selfish and sometimes way too critical - but I'm also full of love, and wonder, and joy - and I've got a lot to give...and if you think you can put up with me - let's do it!
It's fall, and starting to get chilly! Teaching at the Denver Center started again today and I love my kids! I treated myself to a grande nonfat iced latte this morning. We have a washer and dryer in our house so I don't have to take hours out of an otherwise wonderful afternoon to go do laundry, I'm doing it RIGHT NOW! Tacos for lunch. Taco flavored kisses. Watching videos of K.K. Yesterday, Aly came to Denver and we had an awesome breakfast, and we got our makeup done at MAC and it was wonderful. I feel pretty. Chalkboards. Going to the mountains. Being surrounded by artists. Big sky country. More *blue* days than anywhere else in the country. Listening to a gorgeous Mexican singer on NPR this morning. Remembering Ireland. Knee high socks. Photographs. Not being at work for the afternoon. Loving my job(s). One door opening just as another one closes.
It's just over one year since I moved to Denver...the time when...for the past several years, I've picked up and moved again. I'm noticing a pattern...the first year(ish) is great, everything is so new - it's like a challenge to get to know a place, and people. But then, after that first year, when it's so exciting...I start to sit back and say "now what? shouldn't I be farther along that this?" So I move on to someplace else. The only thing is, I really love Denver, and Colorado. And I've found a good art scene here, and love is here, and I want to be here. So, I'm here, I'm committed (I just bought Colorado plates last week!), and I'm just going to embrace my neurosis and live it up!
This is me world, I may be grumpy and selfish and sometimes way too critical - but I'm also full of love, and wonder, and joy - and I've got a lot to give...and if you think you can put up with me - let's do it!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Broken
These days something is broken inside me. I wonder if it's always been broken? What is it that's wrong with me?
How can a person know what she wants, love without bounds - and stand in her own way...always wanting what I can't have?
How can one person make so many mistakes?
How can a person know what she wants, love without bounds - and stand in her own way...always wanting what I can't have?
How can one person make so many mistakes?
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